Monday Blues: Is this how Wile E. Coyote feels?

I lay in bed, pretending my alarm is not about to shriek its awful chorus into my ears, imagining that 6 my children have not already greeted the day with their excited chatter and and the pounding and bounding of many small feet in the bedroom over top of my head. I drag the covers up, wishing I could hide in this warm blanket cocoon until Tuesday. But Mommy duties demand attention, and hungry little tummies need nourishment, lunches must be packed, and little shoelaces require double knotting. I escape from beneath my cozy, purring kitty and test the chilly floors with my toes. And then it hits me.

Monday.  

Suddenly, I'm aware of every aching joint in my body, a heavy weariness that not even my morning java can dislodge. I feel as if I dreamed all night of being Wile E. Coyote, victimized by anvils crashing on his head. It's going to be a long day. "Dear God, " I pray, "Help me. Help me, please."

As the fog clears, I see it for what it is, the Church hangover, the Monday blues, adrenaline dump. What bothers me the most is not the physical symptoms, but the emotional: the pervasive feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. It's ironic, feeling this way after a Sunday of serving God and the church, because without Him, we are worthless and hopeless.

I can't shake those 'feelings' so I call them what they are: feelings, not facts.  Feelings will pass, and tomorrow I'll be back to feeling like myself, optimistic, hope-filled, energetic. For today, I'll look for truth - what does God say about me? A few verses come to mind as I think about how God thinks about me, about us. I'll try to focus on these things - God's love, His care, His plan - rather than my weariness, as I pour milk into cereal bowls, change diapers, and begin to work on next Sunday's worship music.

Psalm 139:13-16 NLT
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb.  Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous-how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

Romans 8:37-39 NLT
 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow-not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below-indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Jeremiah 29:11 NLT
For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Ephesians 2:10 NLT
For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Romans 5:6-8 NLT
When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

John 10:10 NLT
The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.

How are you feeling today? What Truth is God pointing you towards to draw you closer to Him?

Spiritual Formation: Van Devotions

I have a confession to make.

I have a really hard time finding time to do devotions. And that's mostly because I have a really hard time finding a place and a time to really get alone with God. My husband and I have 5 small children. Clearly, I cannot even use the bathroom alone. And since they are all typically awake before 6am, getting up before them is not really feasible. So more often than not, if I want to have devotional time, it's in front of children.

Do you know how difficult it is to have a magnificent, meaningful, spiritual moment of time alone with God in the presence of 5 small children? If you have any children, or know any children, I'm sure you've got a pretty good idea. I love my kiddos  - they are fantastic, amazing, interesting, fun beings who are jam packed with laughter and energy. Meditation is not in their vocabulary. Often times, the best I can do is load them in our mini-van with snacks and electronic devices and sit in a park with my Bible and attempt to concentrate. It's not ideal. It doesn't feel spiritual, especially when I have to holler towards the back of the van to stop the fighting, screaming, and pestering.  It feels frustrating. Annoying. And a waste of time.

But the truth is, it isn't.

God's Word will not return void. It is alive, powerful, and active. And these things are true no matter how spiritual I feel at any given moment. It is God's Word and it has worth in and of itself. So if I faithfully read even when my situation isn't perfect, God will faithfully reward me with Himself because HE IS PERFECT. But there's more.

When we pull up to our favorite park, where snacks and electronic babysitters have become the norm, something else has normalized, too. One of my toddlers inevitably asks, "Mommy read Bible now?"

Yes, darling. Just for a few minutes, Mommy will read her Bible now.

And even though it's hard to concentrate, and it's impossible to feel 'spiritual,' and I get cranky at times when I'm trying to do devotions in my van, my little ones are learning the importance of my Bible, God's Word, no matter what my situation says. I may not be able to get time alone, but I can still make time with God a priority. I might not be able to create an atmosphere that feels spiritual, but God will still meet me there. I might get distracted and have to begin again, but God rewards those who earnestly seek Him. So I'll offer a little extra grace when my children get bored, and give myself some, too, when I get a little bit out of sorts. And focus on what's important: seeking God through His eternal Word.

Let the van devotions begin.

Good News! It's Tuesday! Seek God for security.

Jesus said, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, NIV). It’s hard to feel secure in a world where so many bad things happen. It’s hard to feel secure when we don’t know what the future holds. And it’s hard to feel secure when we experience Post-Adrenaline Depression, or fatigue, or any other kind of sadness or grief. Even the most confident among us can feel pretty insecure at times, whether it’s on a small level (am I really prepared for this song?) or a grand scale (What if I lose my job?). Sometimes, insecurity just comes.


But here’s the thing – insecurity does NOT come from God. Neither does fear. However, God gives us the antidote to these things – Himself. This doesn’t mean that if we had more faith, everything would just be ok. If we were better Christians, we wouldn’t feel this way. If we just prayed more, or better, or harder, we wouldn’t experience Post-Adrenaline Depression or any other negative feeling. I don’t agree with this at all, and sometimes, Christian platitudes just get in the way, rather than helping us grow closer to God.

The Christian walk is not to see the world through rose-colored glasses, filled with pithy sayings and trite remarks. Rather, the Christian walk is spiritual warfare. It is a fight to the finish. It is hard work. It means we will face difficulty. It means we’re in the trenches of war each and every day, but Jesus Christ is right there with us. Fighting insecurity means that rather than beating ourselves up because we don’t have peace, we instead make a conscious decision to put our faith and trust in God in spite of our feelings.




Never feel badly because you have anxiety or fear – when we read the book of Psalms, we see how much the Psalmist experienced all sorts of emotions: fear, insecurity, despair, joy, and hope…. King David was known as a man after God's own heart, and yet, he still experienced fear, despair, insecurity, and sorrow. Psalm 55:17 (NIV) says, “Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice.” King David isn’t saying he’s never afraid, but he cries out to God when he IS afraid because he knows that God will hear him. God loves it when we call on Him! And He loves it when we choose to put our trust and hope in Him even when we are afraid or insecure.

Next time Monday comes, and you feel afraid, or tired, or depressed, or insecure, don’t beat yourself. Instead, cry out to God! Make a conscious decision to put your trust in Him no matter what your feelings tell you. 

Thought for Thursday: Feelings and Facts

Is Captain Jack right? 

“Emotions come and go and can't be controlled so there's no reason to worry about them. That in the end, people should be judged by their actions since in the end it was actions that defined everyone.”

― Nicholas Sparks, The Last Song


“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.”

― Thich Nhat Hanh, Stepping into Freedom: Rules of Monastic Practice for Novices


“But feelings can't be ignored, no matter how unjust or ungrateful they seem.”

― Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl


“It is important not to suppress your feelings altogether when you are depressed. It is equally important to avoid terrible arguments or expressions of outrage. You should steer clear of emotionally damaging behavior. People forgive, but it is best not to stir things up to the point at which forgiveness is required. When you are depressed, you need the love of other people, and yet depression fosters actions that destroy that love. Depressed people often stick pins into their own life rafts. The conscious mind can intervene. One is not helpless.”

― Andrew Solomon, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression