There's no such thing as worship leaders...

Real or not real? 

There is no such thing as a worship leader. That title, Worship Leader, is a misnomer, even though it's what we are. 

My title is Worship Leader, but I cannot make a single person worship God. 

Perhaps I could coerce a person to sing, or threaten them to the point that they comply with liturgical expression, but I cannot make them worship. I do not bring anyone into the throne room of God. I  do not have that superpower. I cannot control people's hearts. Nobody has that kind of power. That's why I think there really is no such thing as a worship leader. We are always in the presence of God. And it is the Holy Spirit's job to soften hearts and lead people in responding to God in worship. As someone who is called a worship leader, my job is simply to create the opportunity for a corporate worship experience. 

And to be completely honest, it is not the job of the Contemporary Christian music movement to provide worship songs for congregations to sing. Oh, it's great when there are songs that easily cross over from CCM to worship service.It makes teaching the congregation a new song that much easeir when they've already heard it on the radio. But not every song can serve both purposes well, and it is the worship leader's responsibility to know the difference. 

I get it, Worship Leader. Like me, you're busy. Like me, you work more than one job. Like me, you have a family that needs a lot of attention. Like me, you love music, you love your congregation, you love Jesus, and you strive to do an awesome job at helping others to worship. But you can't just pick any old song onthe radio that falls under CCM, can you? 

You need songs that are theologically correct. Oh, I love having a local Christian music station. But sometimes I just shut it off, because  musicians aren't necessarily theologians, and the poetic license they employ sometimes clouds the truth of who God is. This isn't always a black and white area, because every denomination has its own theological bent, and a song that works in the Methodist Church on one end of town might not really fit the Pentecostal Church at the other end. Sometimes, I hear a song on the radio and know that it's a great fit for our church. Other times, I cringe inwardly, because I can't get on board with what that song is really saying about God. It's even harder when a member of the worship team requests a song that you can't agree with theologically. It is not legal to change the words of a song that is not in the Public Domain without permission, so you won't be able to get away with using a song by just changing a word or two. Worship Leader, it is your job to know if this song will fit.  If you don't know, ask for help. 

You need songs that are singable. There are some amazing CCM artists on the radio whose voices are pretty, and they have great big ranges, and amazing vocal agility. But the average church attender can't sing like Mandisa or Chris Tomlin. Listen for songs that keep most of their melodies between middle C and the C above so that most voices can sing them. If the rhythms are too complex, the range is too wide, or the verses too different from each other, the congregation won't be able to pick them up. However, if you choose songs that are too repetitive, your folks might start getting bored. This is your job, Worship Leader - to find those songs that are the most singable. 

You need songs that your band can play. If you work with a team of instrumentalists, you need to know their skill level and ability. That awesome song you just heard might be perfect for the team of professionals that spent months rehearsing it, but maybe your volunteers can't play in the key of F sharp minor. Or maybe they don't have the chops to carry out that insanely cool guitar lick. Let it go, Worship Leader. Let it go. 

You need songs that touch hearts. That might be the hottest song in all of CCM, but is it moving people closer to God? Is it helping people to worship God? Skip the fluff, Worship Leader, and find the songs that tell stories, dream dreams, and touch the heart and soul. 

You need songs that fit your congregation. Churches are not one size fits all, and I am pretty sure that our God loves the variety that makes up His Bride. But that also means your church is different than the one down the street, and has different needs, styles, and strengths. Maybe the church body is in a season of discouragement and need songs that reassure them that God has not forgotten. Maybe they are in a season of celebration, or maybe they need to learn that it's ok to respond to God in song.  Know your people, Worship Leader, and find the songs that fit their needs, help them grow closer to God, and worship Him. 

Worship Leader, this is your job. Not to make others worship. Not to force them to sing. Not to copy the hottest songs on Christian radio, not to be another Chris Tomlin, Lauren Daigle, or Jennie Lee Riddle (even though we love them), but to lead the music that helps your congregation respond to God for who He is and what He has done.  What does that look like in your church? 

The Monday Blues: healthy Alternatives for coping

It seems like Mondays are disproportionately longer and more frequent than all the other days of the week. I feel like I drag myself through the day, getting kids fed, and dressed, and  off to school, backpacks tagging along behind, blankets and stuffed animals strewn about the house, bedroom floors littered with stray socks and legos. I'd love to say that I started Monday with a great workout, an exciting time of Bible study and prayer, and a healthy breakfast.

Yeah, right. It's more like hitting the snooze button until the kids are pouncing on the bed (or the noises coming from their bedrooms are becoming startling loud and investigation-worthy). Grabbing coffee, and pulling some clothes on in the dark, hoping they mostly match. A little eyeliner and mascara, yeah, that's a good idea, too. Forget the hair - just throw it in a ponytail and be done. Then we're pouring bowls of cereal - Lucky Charms if the kids are exceptionally lucky that day - and sweeping up at least as many spoonfuls off the floor as are in their hungry little tummies. Then it's run to the van and buckle in 6 wiggly, giggly, racuas kids.... oh wait, I forgot my coffee.  Oh wait, one forgot their lunch. Oh wait.... is it really morning already? What happened to sleep?

There just isn't time for a great start to the day, and I'm too tired anyway, even when I turn in early on Sunday night. So I try to find a few healthy alternatives to being cranky and miserable so I don't needlessly terrorize the rest of the people in my house with a bad mood.  Monday is a day to give myself a little kindness, get my little ones off and running for their week, and try to squeeze in some work where I can.

Coffee. That's a given! No day starts without coffee, and Mondays need a little extra.  Maybe you don't do caffeine - that's ok, it just means more for me.

Vitamins. I like Confianza by It Works!  (you can order it from my website here and I'll get a little comission): - http://thebeautifulblog.myitworks.com) It's a daily supplement to help your body deal with stress. I think it works wonders for performance anxiety, as well.

Starbucks. I know, there's controversy. And yes, it's way out of my way. And yes, it's expensive. But sometimes a peaceful ride in the car for a great tasting latte really improves my mood.

Music. Usually something along the lines of Matt Maher both soothes my soul and energizes me.

Essential oils. I'm only just beginning to understand the benefits of essential oils, but I have found that diffusing them (even in your vehicle) can help ipmrove your mood, give you energy, improve focus, and promote feelings of well-being, depending on the oils that you choose. Some enhance meditation, memory, or promote feelings of peace or family.  I became a Young Living Distributor so I could explore this avenue more - and I really like the combination of lavendar and peppermint to help me feel more calm and focused, and I also like the roll-on version of Stress Away - it seems to relieve my tension headaches.  (You can also order that from me and I'll receive a comission - youngliving.org/afurbeck).

Comfort foods. For me, these are sometimes treats (dark chocolate, anyone?) or health foods - Go Picnic lunches, Larabars, or just something special to look forward to.

Quietness. Mondays are a great day to practice self-care and soul care. I work pretty hard to coordinate naps so that I get some quiet time all to myself. It doesn't always work out like I want it to, but when I do get a little alone time, especially to write and to hang out with Jesus, it soothes the nerves and refreshes me better than anything else. On Mondays, silence is solace.

What works for you on a Monday?

Monday Blues: To work or not to work?

Monday always comes. Whether you are a pastor, musician, volunteer, or church-goer, Monday comes. And if you've been 'on duty' Sunday, you'll probably feel some level of exhaustion. Maybe depression. Maybe crankiness. Maybe numbness. Lack of motivation. Lack of a good attitude, perhaps? Your post-Sunday feelings don't reflect how good you are in ministry or how spiritually mature you are. Many of the most famous, well-known and gifted pastors and evangelists have shared their bouts of depression and difficulty. We should not be ashamed of being worn out after a day of ministry; Monday Blues comes and goes with the work of ministry. It's our bodies' responses to the hormonal fluctuations that come with Sunday's spiritual warfare.

So what to do with Monday? Is it a good day to work? Or a good day to take a day off? If you're bi-vocational or a volunteer in ministry, you probably don't have a choice. You pull your boot straps up, put on your hat, and away you go to your day job so that you can pay your bills and afford to do ministry. It isn't easy, but you do it anyway because that's what you have to do for your family and your church.

 But if you're in ministry full time, what do you do? Some folks find that making Monday their day, so they can rest and recoup,  works best for them. They can chill out on their day off and get ready for a new week. But others feel like that's selfish -it takes away a good day from their family time and leaves the family with the worst, most unhappy part of the week. If you take off  Monday, do you work Friday and Saturday?

If you take off of work on Saturday, can you compartmentalize enough to avoid thinking about work to concentrate on family? Or do you need to work Saturday to prepare for Sunday?

My question is this: do we plan our weekly schedule around the feelings that we know are going to happen on Monday, around the needs of the church, or around the needs of our family? Or somehow find a way to balance all three?

Psalm 116

Sometimes we forget that being a believer in Christ means living a life of spiritual warfare. It's no wonder Sundays make us tired! We're not just 'doing church' but also fighting a spiritual battle to praise, worship, spread the Word of God, and be together as a family in the name of Christ. And Satan wants nothing more than to thwart our every attempt at drawing near to God. It's the best work of all, but it's hard work. It's worth it, but it's wearing on our hearts, our souls, and our bodies. So just stop, take a minute, and read Psalm 116. The Psalmist may have been weary from physical battles but he knew there was a battle for his soul, as well. Remember that the Lord hears your cries and has compassion when you're facing physical and spiritual battles. It's Monday, but the Lord hears you in your weariness.  Call on him. And then return to your rest, soul.

Psalm 116, NIV

1 I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;
    he heard my cry for mercy.
2 Because he turned his ear to me,
    I will call on him as long as I live.

3 The cords of death entangled me,
    the anguish of the grave came over me;
    I was overcome by distress and sorrow.
4 Then I called on the name of the Lord:
    “Lord, save me!”

5 The Lord is gracious and righteous;
    our God is full of compassion.
6 The Lord protects the unwary;
    when I was brought low, he saved me.

7 Return to your rest, my soul,
    for the Lord has been good to you.

Thought for Thursday: Feelings and Facts

Is Captain Jack right? 

“Emotions come and go and can't be controlled so there's no reason to worry about them. That in the end, people should be judged by their actions since in the end it was actions that defined everyone.”

― Nicholas Sparks, The Last Song


“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.”

― Thich Nhat Hanh, Stepping into Freedom: Rules of Monastic Practice for Novices


“But feelings can't be ignored, no matter how unjust or ungrateful they seem.”

― Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl


“It is important not to suppress your feelings altogether when you are depressed. It is equally important to avoid terrible arguments or expressions of outrage. You should steer clear of emotionally damaging behavior. People forgive, but it is best not to stir things up to the point at which forgiveness is required. When you are depressed, you need the love of other people, and yet depression fosters actions that destroy that love. Depressed people often stick pins into their own life rafts. The conscious mind can intervene. One is not helpless.”

― Andrew Solomon, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression

What Bob Ross taught me about leading worship

I grew up watching Bob Ross on Saturday afternoons. I loved to see him paint, but even more, I loved to listen to him talk. I waited each week for him to say that there are no mistakes, only happy little accidents. Oh, just put in a few more happy little trees. Look at the clouds - put in a few more happy little clouds. Try as I might, I could never quite get the same effect with my Crayola water colors that he could, even in such a short painting episode. He never seemed flustered, always happily painting away and creating something beautiful from a plain canvas and a few splashes of color.

What I learned from watching Bob Ross is that things in painting and things in life don't always come out the way we'd like, but that's ok, We can still make something beautiful out of what others might see as a mistake if we are willing to adjust our plans and keep our eye on the big picture.

 It's awfully difficult to compare our weekly service to a professionally mastered worship album or a worship concert. Worship artists spend months rehearsing for their concerts and albums, and have all kinds of technology to make their music sound even better - an average small church with a volunteer worship team just can't compare with the amount of time or technology. And that's ok! The truth is that live music is a lot like live painting on television - things don't always come out as planned. There are wrong notes, missed cues, and technological issues that creep up. But if we are flexible and go with the flow, we can still make something beautiful out of what others might see as mistakes.

Don't get hung up when things don't come out as planned, don't get stuck on mistakes. Instead, let the happy little accidents go, and keep your eye on the big picture - worshiping our Risen Lord - and He will make it beautiful.


Oh, and if you need more of Bob Ross's happy little accidents, there's a whole YouTube channel devoted just to him!Watch Bob Ross paint here.

The Monday Blues: Separating Fact from Feelings

Feeling frazzled? 

One of the strategies that I use for coping with the Monday Blues is to separate out the facts from what I’m feeling. This type of logical self-examination helps me figure out if I truly have a good reason to be upset, or if it’s really just the adrenaline let down talking. And then I can make a conscious effort to extend extra grace to myself for my unhappy feelings and to those around me so I don’t hurt them.

For example, because of the adrenal let down, I might be more likely to be short-tempered with my spouse on a Monday. This translates to me being annoyed when he doesn’t live up to my expectations, or me getting frustrated or irritated at something that normally doesn’t bother me at all. Before I snap at someone else, I try to rehearse my feelings to myself first:

I feel…. But the fact is…

I feel irritated because he left dirty dishes in the sink. But the fact is, the dishwasher was in the middle of a cycle so there was no place else to put the dirty dishes. There is no reason for me to snap even though I’m feeling upset. I might still feel stressed, but at least I can stop myself from putting that stress onto someone else.

Other examples…

I feel too tired to work out… but the fact is that the endorphins from a brisk walk will help to improve my mood and give me energy. (I probably should do it anyway!)

I feel frustrated that the worship service didn’t go as planned. But the fact is, some of that was out of my control, so I’ll fix what I can this week and let the rest of it go.

I feel sad and I don’t know why, but the fact is, I felt really good yesterday so I’ll try to focus on how God worked through yesterday’s worship service. It’s ok that I’m sad, but good things happened, too.

I feel overwhelmed by the work week ahead, but the fact is that I will feel better about it tomorrow, so I’ll try to tackle some easier tasks today and save the more complicated things for when I’ve recovered from the weekend.

I think it’s important to acknowledge those feelings – feelings aren’t wrong or bad, they just don’t tell the whole story. Separating out fact and feeling helps us to deal with what we’re feeling right now without allowing it to damage people or programs.  

No matter what we’re feeling – sadness, frustration, exhaustion, tiredness, joy, or gladness or even fear – God cares. He knows our hearts and He cares about what we’re feeling no matter what the facts are.

Hang in there- it might be Monday, but Tuesday is on its way.

Thought for Thursday: Read your Bible

“A Bible that’s falling apart usually belongs to someone who isn’t.”

― Charles H. Spurgeon

“Out of 100 men, one will read the Bible, the other 99 will read the Christian.”

― Dwight Lyman Moody

“The Bible was not given for our information but for our transformation.”

― Dwight Lyman Moody

“The Holy Scriptures are our letters from home.”

― Augustine of Hippo

Read more: http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/quotes-about-the-bible-25-awesome-sayings/#ixzz3ZSetlmk0

Do rainy days and Mondays always get you down? Let's start with sleep.

The incurable Monday Morning Blues; it’s that post Sunday fatigue and discouragement that comes on late Sunday night or early Monday morning.  It’s probably going to show up week after week, so we really need to create a game plan to keep this regular bout of discouragement from bringing us to the point of burn out.  I don’t see this Monday fatigue as any sort of spiritual lack, but rather, our human bodies’ response to stress and adrenaline. Great preachers, such as Charles Spurgeon, and even the prophet Elijah, suffered from depression or discouragement, so why wouldn’t the rest of us struggle at some time or another? It happens to the best of us. We can’t avoid it, but we can be prepared for it.

Pastors and ministry workers are caregivers, constantly in touch with the needs of others, and finding ways to meet those needs. But rarely do we stop and consider our own needs. This is the time to care for our own souls and bodies just like we would care for someone else in a similar state.  Creating our own soul care plan will help us work through these difficult days.

For me, a good night’s sleep is a total game changer. My outlook greatly improves when I can get some good, solid rest. It’s like an emotional reset button. Of course, it’s hard for me to unwind on a Sunday night, so going to bed early is almost impossible. Sleeping in would be marvelous, too – but with small children that need help getting to school, that’s generally not a viable option.  Instead, I try to make Sunday nights as relaxing as possible, so I can unwind and get to bed at a normal hour. I also get up as late as possible on a Monday morning, even if it means rushing a bit to get out the door. That extra half hour of sleep in the morning is totally worth it.

I also try to build in some moments of rest throughout the day on Monday.  For example, if my toddlers fall asleep in the van at some point, I’ll spend some time just resting in the presence of God. Not sleeping, but relaxing with God on my mind. Maybe I’ll read a little Scripture or meditate, but mostly, I just rest in God. Think of it as praying without words. It is a peaceful time that has a soothing effect on my soul, and I always come away feeling more inspired and energetic than I did before.\

My last hope for rest is to sneak in a nap either Sunday or Monday afternoon. I usually crash somewhere around Sunday afternoon, and fall asleep on a heap on the floor, underneath a handful of small children.   It isn’t graceful, but it is effective.

What do you do? How do you give yourself the extra rest you need to deal with Post Adrenaline Depression?

Links to consider

 M. Scott Bashoor has a great explanation of the Monday Morning Blues: The Pastor’s Weekly Wreck.  

Rick Warren talks about Dealing with Discouragement.

Jimmy Smith talks about the different effects of Monday on Pastors.

Wednesday Worship Tip: Do's and Don'ts for Congregational Singing

How do you notify your congregation that it's time to stand and sing?

Do: Invite your congregation to join in worshiping the Lord through song.  "Please join us in singing 10,000 Reasons." "This morning, please join us in worshiping God for His love for us." "Let's thank God together with the song, Thank You, Lord."

Don't: Scold them for not meeting your musical expectations. "What? I can't hear you, sing louder!" "Come on, Congregation, you can do better than that!"

Do: Lead by example. Raise your hands, clap, and show authentic, appropriate emotion.

Don't: Lead with a fake smile or bored/pained expression.

Do:  Plan and prepare the best that you are able. "Dear God, please guide me in planning worship music today."

Don't: Ignore the Holy Spirit if He leads you in a different direction.

Do: Get a good night's sleep the night before so you are at your best.

Don't: Stay up too late to do well.

Do: Ask God to move mightily in your heart, in your worship, and in the church.

Don't: Forget to have a servant's heart as you work with your team and congregation.

The Monday Blues: Adrenaline Dump

Do you get the Monday blues? Not just the “oh, no, I have to go back to work on Monday morning,” blues, I’m talking about serious depression, exhaustion, and general bad mood that comes on anywhere from after church on Sunday to as late as sometime on Tuesday. It’s the ministry low that comes on after the ministry high of doing church on a Sunday morning.

weknowmemes.com

You might be pastor, worship leader, or even volunteer.

You’ve given it your all for the weekend services, serving God and serving people, and suddenly, you crash. Maybe you felt great in those special moments of ministry, when you felt completely connected to God and His Word and His people. But when the church lights are turned off and the door is locked, the soaring mood plummets. I’ve always called it the Monday blues. After a great high from preaching or leading worship over the weekend, I often wake up Monday morning, tired, soar, and feeling absolutely miserable. Is it a coincidence that I wake up on the wrong side of the bed Every. Single. Monday?  I’ve heard it called the pastor’s hangover. The Monday slump. A case of the Mondays. Only recently did I learn from my friend, Pastor Rachel, that this is known as adrenaline dump.

When an athlete takes the field, or a pastors turns on the microphone, his or her body sends a surge of adrenaline hormones to prepare them for fight or flight. These hormones help you think more clearly in the moment, give you extra strength, energy, and awareness so you can either stand up to the task or run away as fast as you possibly can. This gives you that extra boost you need to interact with the congregation as you sing or gives you that extra edge when you preach. You feel excited and alive! Your body may buzz with energy. But your body can’t sustain this level of intensity or adrenaline for long. And as all of the hormones leave your body, you crash. You may experience fatigue, depression, sadness, bitterness, irritation, stomach upset, and even soreness. These same hormones suppress memory, so all of yesterday might just seem like one big blur. You might wonder, if I did so well, why do I feel so poorly? If I loved ministry yesterday, why do I want to quit today? Your bruised and battered feelings aren’t a reflection of your ministry abilities. It’s a reflection of your body’s use of adrenaline and how easily it recovers. It varies from person to person and from week to week.

I’m still learning to recognize the emotional ramifications of my Monday morning slump. But it helps to have an honest friend like Rachel who can objectively remind me that my grumpy feelings are related to the previous day’s adrenaline surge and not to my family, friends, or ministry.

Do you experience the Monday morning blues? What do you do to cope? How do you work through it so you can begin another week of ministry and mission?