Tracking your emotions the day after

Did you ever have one of those mood rings that was supposed to reveal your emotional state by changing colors? Each color represented a different 'mood.' It's been years since I've had one, but I fully suspect that the color changes were based on body temperature, not really mood. I'm pretty sure there was a Wet N Wild lipstick that did just about the same thing! Wouldn't it be nice if there was jewelry that sensed our bad moods coming? Perhaps a watch that vibrated when we are about to lose our cool, reminding us to stand down? What if we received a text alert when we are feeling overly sensitive. SIRI might tell us, "Let it go! Let it go!" If I had a mood ring, I think it would be red on
Mondays.

Mondays are typically adrenaline dump days - that day when my body processes the adrenaline surge from Sunday's time of ministry. I wonder how many of us aren't even aware that we are struggling with this? Personally, I find myself exhausted, physically sore, and more sensitive and more irritable than usual. I often don't even recognize it until I'm crying at the gas pump or rolling my eyes at the junk mail. It's only then that I realize how ridiculous I am being. The attitude suffers right along with the rest of me. A nap might solve some, the rest of it needs kept in check with a big dose of self-control, prayer, and grace. Lots and lots of grace.

Self-awareness is the best way to manage adrenaline dump - if you don't recognize it, you just can't fix it, right? Spire is a wearable activity tracker that is supposed to sense when you are tense or stressed, and send you text messages to help you deal with it. It might be worth the $150 investment, although I would imagine our spouses, children, and friends could give us the same information for free. Or you could download a mood tracking app or even take notes in a journal throughout the day.You can learn to catch yourself if you know the patterns that occur.  And once you figure out those patterns, you can come up with ways to mitigate any negativity or unwanted behavior.

What is the pattern to your moods on a Monday? What consistencies do you notice? Does it change throughout the day? What strategies will you make to cope?

Monday Blues: Is this how Wile E. Coyote feels?

I lay in bed, pretending my alarm is not about to shriek its awful chorus into my ears, imagining that 6 my children have not already greeted the day with their excited chatter and and the pounding and bounding of many small feet in the bedroom over top of my head. I drag the covers up, wishing I could hide in this warm blanket cocoon until Tuesday. But Mommy duties demand attention, and hungry little tummies need nourishment, lunches must be packed, and little shoelaces require double knotting. I escape from beneath my cozy, purring kitty and test the chilly floors with my toes. And then it hits me.

Monday.  

Suddenly, I'm aware of every aching joint in my body, a heavy weariness that not even my morning java can dislodge. I feel as if I dreamed all night of being Wile E. Coyote, victimized by anvils crashing on his head. It's going to be a long day. "Dear God, " I pray, "Help me. Help me, please."

As the fog clears, I see it for what it is, the Church hangover, the Monday blues, adrenaline dump. What bothers me the most is not the physical symptoms, but the emotional: the pervasive feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. It's ironic, feeling this way after a Sunday of serving God and the church, because without Him, we are worthless and hopeless.

I can't shake those 'feelings' so I call them what they are: feelings, not facts.  Feelings will pass, and tomorrow I'll be back to feeling like myself, optimistic, hope-filled, energetic. For today, I'll look for truth - what does God say about me? A few verses come to mind as I think about how God thinks about me, about us. I'll try to focus on these things - God's love, His care, His plan - rather than my weariness, as I pour milk into cereal bowls, change diapers, and begin to work on next Sunday's worship music.

Psalm 139:13-16 NLT
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb.  Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous-how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

Romans 8:37-39 NLT
 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow-not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below-indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Jeremiah 29:11 NLT
For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Ephesians 2:10 NLT
For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Romans 5:6-8 NLT
When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

John 10:10 NLT
The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.

How are you feeling today? What Truth is God pointing you towards to draw you closer to Him?

Monday Blues: To work or not to work?

Monday always comes. Whether you are a pastor, musician, volunteer, or church-goer, Monday comes. And if you've been 'on duty' Sunday, you'll probably feel some level of exhaustion. Maybe depression. Maybe crankiness. Maybe numbness. Lack of motivation. Lack of a good attitude, perhaps? Your post-Sunday feelings don't reflect how good you are in ministry or how spiritually mature you are. Many of the most famous, well-known and gifted pastors and evangelists have shared their bouts of depression and difficulty. We should not be ashamed of being worn out after a day of ministry; Monday Blues comes and goes with the work of ministry. It's our bodies' responses to the hormonal fluctuations that come with Sunday's spiritual warfare.

So what to do with Monday? Is it a good day to work? Or a good day to take a day off? If you're bi-vocational or a volunteer in ministry, you probably don't have a choice. You pull your boot straps up, put on your hat, and away you go to your day job so that you can pay your bills and afford to do ministry. It isn't easy, but you do it anyway because that's what you have to do for your family and your church.

 But if you're in ministry full time, what do you do? Some folks find that making Monday their day, so they can rest and recoup,  works best for them. They can chill out on their day off and get ready for a new week. But others feel like that's selfish -it takes away a good day from their family time and leaves the family with the worst, most unhappy part of the week. If you take off  Monday, do you work Friday and Saturday?

If you take off of work on Saturday, can you compartmentalize enough to avoid thinking about work to concentrate on family? Or do you need to work Saturday to prepare for Sunday?

My question is this: do we plan our weekly schedule around the feelings that we know are going to happen on Monday, around the needs of the church, or around the needs of our family? Or somehow find a way to balance all three?

Psalm 116

Sometimes we forget that being a believer in Christ means living a life of spiritual warfare. It's no wonder Sundays make us tired! We're not just 'doing church' but also fighting a spiritual battle to praise, worship, spread the Word of God, and be together as a family in the name of Christ. And Satan wants nothing more than to thwart our every attempt at drawing near to God. It's the best work of all, but it's hard work. It's worth it, but it's wearing on our hearts, our souls, and our bodies. So just stop, take a minute, and read Psalm 116. The Psalmist may have been weary from physical battles but he knew there was a battle for his soul, as well. Remember that the Lord hears your cries and has compassion when you're facing physical and spiritual battles. It's Monday, but the Lord hears you in your weariness.  Call on him. And then return to your rest, soul.

Psalm 116, NIV

1 I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;
    he heard my cry for mercy.
2 Because he turned his ear to me,
    I will call on him as long as I live.

3 The cords of death entangled me,
    the anguish of the grave came over me;
    I was overcome by distress and sorrow.
4 Then I called on the name of the Lord:
    “Lord, save me!”

5 The Lord is gracious and righteous;
    our God is full of compassion.
6 The Lord protects the unwary;
    when I was brought low, he saved me.

7 Return to your rest, my soul,
    for the Lord has been good to you.

Good News! It's Tuesday! Seek God for security.

Jesus said, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, NIV). It’s hard to feel secure in a world where so many bad things happen. It’s hard to feel secure when we don’t know what the future holds. And it’s hard to feel secure when we experience Post-Adrenaline Depression, or fatigue, or any other kind of sadness or grief. Even the most confident among us can feel pretty insecure at times, whether it’s on a small level (am I really prepared for this song?) or a grand scale (What if I lose my job?). Sometimes, insecurity just comes.


But here’s the thing – insecurity does NOT come from God. Neither does fear. However, God gives us the antidote to these things – Himself. This doesn’t mean that if we had more faith, everything would just be ok. If we were better Christians, we wouldn’t feel this way. If we just prayed more, or better, or harder, we wouldn’t experience Post-Adrenaline Depression or any other negative feeling. I don’t agree with this at all, and sometimes, Christian platitudes just get in the way, rather than helping us grow closer to God.

The Christian walk is not to see the world through rose-colored glasses, filled with pithy sayings and trite remarks. Rather, the Christian walk is spiritual warfare. It is a fight to the finish. It is hard work. It means we will face difficulty. It means we’re in the trenches of war each and every day, but Jesus Christ is right there with us. Fighting insecurity means that rather than beating ourselves up because we don’t have peace, we instead make a conscious decision to put our faith and trust in God in spite of our feelings.




Never feel badly because you have anxiety or fear – when we read the book of Psalms, we see how much the Psalmist experienced all sorts of emotions: fear, insecurity, despair, joy, and hope…. King David was known as a man after God's own heart, and yet, he still experienced fear, despair, insecurity, and sorrow. Psalm 55:17 (NIV) says, “Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice.” King David isn’t saying he’s never afraid, but he cries out to God when he IS afraid because he knows that God will hear him. God loves it when we call on Him! And He loves it when we choose to put our trust and hope in Him even when we are afraid or insecure.

Next time Monday comes, and you feel afraid, or tired, or depressed, or insecure, don’t beat yourself. Instead, cry out to God! Make a conscious decision to put your trust in Him no matter what your feelings tell you. 

Monday Morning Blues: Insecurity

Do you ever second-guess yourself on Monday?

Feel insecure about Sunday?

Wonder if you’re cut out for this?

A little grace in a cup.

A little self-examination for the sake of improvement is a good thing, but on Monday Morning, too much self-examination easily turns into insecurity. I have to be careful about analyzing Sunday’s service before I’m physically and emotionally recovered from the weekend. I start asking myself, Did I choose the right topic? Did I select the wrong songs? Did the offertory fit the service? Did I play well or sing out of tune? Maybe I should have practiced more. Maybe I should have prayed more. Did I listen to God? Did people like the music? Did they like the songs? Did they like me? So and so barely spoke to me, did I make him or her mad? Am I in trouble? Did I do it all wrong? Why didn’t anyone complement the music? Why didn’t they sing?  Should I be doing this at all?

Insecurity isn’t all bad – it helps me realize that I don’t have all the answers. I’m not perfect. And someone will probably always be unhappy about something. And there is always someone who will do my work better than I could. That humbles me. A lot. But just because someone else might be better at what I do doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it all. It means I need to rely on Jesus all the more.

The problem we have on Mondays is that we sometimes let our feelings of insecurity affect our families, our relationships, and our ministries. To make sure that doesn’t happen, we need to look at our insecurities, acknowledge them, but avoid making decisions based on them. I may feel like quitting on Monday Morning, but usually by the time Tuesday rolls around, I’ve recovered from the feelings of insecurity that made me want to write that resignation letter. I need to make sure I’m not putting my feelings of insecurity onto my spouse – just because they aren’t singing my praises all Monday morning doesn’t mean they’re mad me or think I did a bad job the day before. It probably just means it is Monday, and they don’t want to face the world, either!  I also need to be careful about my relationships with people at church on Monday morning. If I’m feeling insecure, I might be tempted to strive at pleasing people more than I work to please God. Awareness doesn’t make insecurity evaporate; it helps us live out what we believe even when we don’t feel like it.

It’s Monday. A day to give myself a little extra grace, and extend it to those around me.

It’s Monday. A day to practice what I preach the rest of the week: to act according to how I believe, rather than according to how I feel.

It’s Monday. A day to practice the discipline, to make a conscious choice, of putting my security in God’s hands even when I am insecure.

It’s Monday, but Tuesday’s on its way.

The Monday Blues: Separating Fact from Feelings

Feeling frazzled? 

One of the strategies that I use for coping with the Monday Blues is to separate out the facts from what I’m feeling. This type of logical self-examination helps me figure out if I truly have a good reason to be upset, or if it’s really just the adrenaline let down talking. And then I can make a conscious effort to extend extra grace to myself for my unhappy feelings and to those around me so I don’t hurt them.

For example, because of the adrenal let down, I might be more likely to be short-tempered with my spouse on a Monday. This translates to me being annoyed when he doesn’t live up to my expectations, or me getting frustrated or irritated at something that normally doesn’t bother me at all. Before I snap at someone else, I try to rehearse my feelings to myself first:

I feel…. But the fact is…

I feel irritated because he left dirty dishes in the sink. But the fact is, the dishwasher was in the middle of a cycle so there was no place else to put the dirty dishes. There is no reason for me to snap even though I’m feeling upset. I might still feel stressed, but at least I can stop myself from putting that stress onto someone else.

Other examples…

I feel too tired to work out… but the fact is that the endorphins from a brisk walk will help to improve my mood and give me energy. (I probably should do it anyway!)

I feel frustrated that the worship service didn’t go as planned. But the fact is, some of that was out of my control, so I’ll fix what I can this week and let the rest of it go.

I feel sad and I don’t know why, but the fact is, I felt really good yesterday so I’ll try to focus on how God worked through yesterday’s worship service. It’s ok that I’m sad, but good things happened, too.

I feel overwhelmed by the work week ahead, but the fact is that I will feel better about it tomorrow, so I’ll try to tackle some easier tasks today and save the more complicated things for when I’ve recovered from the weekend.

I think it’s important to acknowledge those feelings – feelings aren’t wrong or bad, they just don’t tell the whole story. Separating out fact and feeling helps us to deal with what we’re feeling right now without allowing it to damage people or programs.  

No matter what we’re feeling – sadness, frustration, exhaustion, tiredness, joy, or gladness or even fear – God cares. He knows our hearts and He cares about what we’re feeling no matter what the facts are.

Hang in there- it might be Monday, but Tuesday is on its way.

The Monday Blues: Adrenaline Dump

Do you get the Monday blues? Not just the “oh, no, I have to go back to work on Monday morning,” blues, I’m talking about serious depression, exhaustion, and general bad mood that comes on anywhere from after church on Sunday to as late as sometime on Tuesday. It’s the ministry low that comes on after the ministry high of doing church on a Sunday morning.

weknowmemes.com

You might be pastor, worship leader, or even volunteer.

You’ve given it your all for the weekend services, serving God and serving people, and suddenly, you crash. Maybe you felt great in those special moments of ministry, when you felt completely connected to God and His Word and His people. But when the church lights are turned off and the door is locked, the soaring mood plummets. I’ve always called it the Monday blues. After a great high from preaching or leading worship over the weekend, I often wake up Monday morning, tired, soar, and feeling absolutely miserable. Is it a coincidence that I wake up on the wrong side of the bed Every. Single. Monday?  I’ve heard it called the pastor’s hangover. The Monday slump. A case of the Mondays. Only recently did I learn from my friend, Pastor Rachel, that this is known as adrenaline dump.

When an athlete takes the field, or a pastors turns on the microphone, his or her body sends a surge of adrenaline hormones to prepare them for fight or flight. These hormones help you think more clearly in the moment, give you extra strength, energy, and awareness so you can either stand up to the task or run away as fast as you possibly can. This gives you that extra boost you need to interact with the congregation as you sing or gives you that extra edge when you preach. You feel excited and alive! Your body may buzz with energy. But your body can’t sustain this level of intensity or adrenaline for long. And as all of the hormones leave your body, you crash. You may experience fatigue, depression, sadness, bitterness, irritation, stomach upset, and even soreness. These same hormones suppress memory, so all of yesterday might just seem like one big blur. You might wonder, if I did so well, why do I feel so poorly? If I loved ministry yesterday, why do I want to quit today? Your bruised and battered feelings aren’t a reflection of your ministry abilities. It’s a reflection of your body’s use of adrenaline and how easily it recovers. It varies from person to person and from week to week.

I’m still learning to recognize the emotional ramifications of my Monday morning slump. But it helps to have an honest friend like Rachel who can objectively remind me that my grumpy feelings are related to the previous day’s adrenaline surge and not to my family, friends, or ministry.

Do you experience the Monday morning blues? What do you do to cope? How do you work through it so you can begin another week of ministry and mission?